thisisntlife

( poem of the week)

What I Wish You'd Say

To My Broken Butterfly
Things will be ok
We can work them out
If you want too
We dont need to do anything more today
We can sit in the shade
I can hold you tight and i will be happy
Because that will make you happy
I love you
I miss you
I need you
I fucked up and I’m sorry
My pride got in the way
But i love you
And only you
We are fate
We will heal your wings
And you will fly
if you want to
Or I can just hold you close to me
and we will fly together .
You’ll love me for life because I’m your bulldog
And I will love you because you are mine.

Untitled #663

There are no more words to write
The songs have all been sung
The harmonys our hearts did sing
Are old and out of tune

My ring lies in a box
That once was the backdrop for your perposal
I know what actually happened now
And if I had a car Id drive the wrong way on the highway

Let me tempt fate .let me cross the line
If everyone else is doing it
Then .
Why.
Can’t.
I .

Fly.

Ten Steps Behind

Dearest love of my life
I write you from my room
I apologize I’m the flower
Not quiet ready enough to bloom
I’m so sorry I ate today
I’m sorry I’m overweight
I’m sorry I walked to school today
Tomorrow I won’t be late
I’m sorry I’m such a slob
Tomorrow I’ll try to get it right
I’ll get on my knees and pray to god
That my clothes don’t look too tight
I’m sorry about my makeup
Tomorrow I’ll where more
I’m sorry I cringed from my punishment today
Tomorrow I’ll accept I’m your whore
I’m sorry I tried to walk beside you
I know stupid me I’m not worthy
Tomarrow I’ll give you a hundred smiles
Because my dearest you put up with me
How is it I can be so stupid
And forget for me all you’ve done
My life you tell me is worthless without you
Darling you’re my hope, my stars , my sun
I’m sorry I’m such a loser but I’m a slow learner
I wish sometimes you’d let me explain
I wish you were a slow burner
I’m sorry I freaked on you when you kissed that other chick
I know I can’t give you all you need
I must learn to live with it
I’m sorry I made a decision today without consulting you
But there’s all these words they throw at me
What do you want me to do
Anorexia ,insomnia abuse
I lie to him and tell him your perfect
And yet with all my bruises its no use
They all believe I deserve better
My family and my friends
I’m so blessed to have you to hide behind
I couldn’t face them in the end
But its not me they’re mad at hun
They’re soley mad at you
They ask how you can say you love me
When you put me through what you do
They tell me why I take your abuse, put downs and your lies
But a promise is a promise
And I promised you I would never say goodbye
But I can’t sleep, I can’t eat
I don’t drink or toke
I sip coffee,cry and chain smoke
As I try to get around the promise you won’t forget
God I wish we never met
Dear love of mine ,I swear I love no other
Why is it you hate my brother?
Why do you curse and threaten him and me
Why do you wish our blood you’ll see

I guess dear you ,you aren’t my love
You were not sent from up above
You treat me like I’m a whore
I wish I knew what you have in store
But if your hurting me
The others are safe
And maybe eventually
You’ll learn to behave
You’ll stop hurting me and hating me
Maybe then you’ll see
I never ever really love you
I never ever really did
I just had compassion for
A screwed up kid
And now I look in the mirror
And I see you
I see the toll of what you’ve put me through
But then others are safe because I’ve endured
Hell and high water that’s been pure
I’ve called your bluff, I’ve drawn the line
But I’m in great danger
When I’m ten steps behind

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